PROVINCETOWN — Helen Haunstrup and her husband, Anton “Napi” Van Dereck Haunstrup, were well known in Provincetown almost from the time they met at a sailing race here in 1955.
Napi, the opinionated restaurateur, art collector, beachcomber, and landlord, died of respiratory problems at Cape Cod Hospital on Christmas Day 2019. He is buried in the Saffron and Haunstrup family plot in the Provincetown Cemetery. Helen, a teacher who was known as the generous provider of warmth and calm in the family enterprises, died from complications of Alzheimer’s disease on Jan. 29 near Louisville, Ky. Helen has yet to be buried, it appears.
The plan, according to Bernard McEneaney, the man who became her conservator during her final years, was to bury Helen beside Napi in Provincetown. What’s preventing that burial is a contentious relationship between McEneaney and Helen’s sister-in-law, Judy Saffron, Napi’s half-sister.
On Feb. 28, McEneaney attempted to bury an urn containing Helen’s ashes beside Napi. That burial was halted by town officials because the permit had been issued for it in error.
Prior to any burial, Town Clerk Elizabeth Paine must issue a burial permit, which requires a death certificate and proof of burial plot ownership. Paine said a family member contacted her office about burying Helen in the Provincetown Cemetery plot.
“The records said the plot was owned by the family,” the town clerk said. “We were under the impression it wouldn’t be an issue.”
Paine notified the dept. of public works, and a square was dug in the plot for the urn.
As the burial was about to take place, Saffron, the sole owner of the cemetery plot, received a call from friends saying Helen’s urn was being buried there. Surprised by the news, Saffron contacted the town clerk and said she owned the plot and hadn’t given permission. She told the Independent that she had not been informed of plans for the burial.
Saffron has a deed to the plot and provided proof to the town clerk that her mother, Catherine Saffron, had owned the lot and had passed exclusive ownership of it to her.
Paine contacted the DPW, and the burial was halted.
McEneaney said by phone last week that he and an undertaker from Chapman Funerals in Harwich were standing graveside with Helen’s urn on Feb. 28 when town workers stopped them from proceeding.
McEneaney said the funeral home had obtained a burial permit from the town and Saffron, he said, “refused to allow Helen to be buried beside her husband.”
Not true, said Saffron. “There were numerous times that I had told them I didn’t have any problem, and if they wanted to bury Helen next to Napi, they could coordinate it with me,” Saffron told the Independent. “The thing was stopped because they did it without coordination, without me knowing, and without my permission.”
Saffron said family members and friends would have wanted to be present. “It’s a sad thing that no one was there besides the conservator and the funeral home to say any words,” she said.
She would still give permission for Helen’s ashes to be buried next to Napi, said Saffron, if she were asked by McEneaney.
Paine said her office has not received a request to date for a new burial permit. McEneaney said he doesn’t plan on pursuing a new burial permit. “When I got refused,” he said, “I wasn’t going to have a fight because the town was involved, and they shut me down.”
McEneaney would not comment on what his plans are now for burial of Helen’s ashes.
