Have you ever overheard a conversation between two surfers and wondered “What language are they speaking?” Surfer talk is a dialect that uses borrowed terms, completely made-up words, a wide array of sound effects, and body language to describe and translate the experience.
What follows is a surfer’s monologue, decoded and with footnotes to shed some light on its meaning.
Dude,[1] this morning was epic![2] You should have been here an hour ago.[3] Big perfect A-frames[4] rolling in and draining off[5] the bar.[6] These things were just detonating[7] and spitting their guts out.[8]
I’d say it was double overhead[9] on the sets.[10] I took out the gun.[11] I was sitting out the back[12] and saw this absolute monster almost breaking on the outer bar,[13] so I paddled super deep.[14] It came in, and it just started sucking up.[15] It jacked up,[16] and I turned and scratched[17] into it.
I almost got hung up on the lip[18] and air dropped[19] (surfer will strike a pose here, limbs fully extended, like doing jumping jacks) down the face. I nearly ate it.[20] I barely made the bottom turn.[21]
This thing just started to heave.[22] I pumped[23] and pulled into[24] the biggest[25] barrel[26] I’ve ever seen. I had to back door,[27] the thing was so deep. The lip came over, and this thing was an absolute cavern.[28] (Arms held wide in full extension to indicate the width of the barrel.)
It started sucking up off the bar, just dredging.[29] Total evil slab.[30] (A hand held up like a sort of claw, fingers flexed and arched, and a sound effect: “Gggrrrraahhhhhhh.”) I got so pitted.[31]
I pumped again and grabbed the rail,[32] pig-dogged[33] my way through, dodged a chandelier,[34] and got spit out[35] so hard. There was a big open shoulder,[36] and I did a huge cutback.[37] (A hand flashes by in a swooping arc.)
Set up again and busted[38] a huge air.[39] I landed that and pulled a little floater.[40] It was the sickest[41] wave ever. Thing was super gnaaaaaarly,[42] dude.
I’m so amped.[43] Totally frothing![44] I feel like a grommet.[45]
[1] Friend.
[2] Very high quality.
[3] A trope among surfers: the suggestion it was better right before you got there.
[4] A wave with a central peak, breaking in both directions.
[5] Pulling water off.
[6] Sandbar.
[7] Breaking with extreme force.
[8] Spraying water vapor. This happens because the pressure inside a barreling wave rises as its volume decreases, which creates a pressurized mist that sprays forcefully out the end of the barrel.
[9] Waves are measured in relation to the size of the human body. Double overhead is approximately 10 to 12 feet tall.
[10] A series of waves that is larger than the median size.
[11] Surfboard designed for bigger waves.
[12] Out past the breaking waves.
[13] Shallow banks far offshore.
[14] Closer to the peak.
[15] Drawing water off the sandbar and becoming hollow.
[16] Grew taller.
[17] Paddled vigorously.
[18] Breaking edge of a wave.
[19] A free fall into the wave.
[20] Wiped out.
[21] Drawn-out turn done at the bottom, flat portion of a wave.
[22] Throw its mass forward.
[23] Driving one’s momentum up and forward along the face of a wave to generate speed.
[24] Committing to being inside the barrel.
[25] This word indicates you are most likely hearing a lie.
[26] The hollow interior of a breaking wave.
[27] Enter a barrel from behind the peak.
[28] A big, dark, wide, scary-looking barrel.
[29] Pulling water off the bar so forcefully it draws sand and stones up into the surfer’s face.
[30] An especially heavy, intense barrel that breaks in shallow water.
[31] Barreled; inside the hollow barrel of a breaking wave.
[32] The edge of a surfboard.
[33] Crouched low, holding the rail for dear life.
[34] A section of a wave’s lip that breaks away and falls into the barrel.
[35] Exiting the barrel with the mist of spray produced by fast-breaking, hollow waves. See footnote no. 8.
[36] The unbroken, open section of a wave’s face.
[37] Big, swooping arc-shaped turn.
[38] Made, did.
[39] A maneuver in which the surfer launches off the lip of the wave and lands. (This statement is also probably a lie.)
[40] Rode along the top of the lip of a breaking wave.
[41] Best.
[42] A term with broad meaning, from really good to really bad. Dangerous, high quality, scary, amazing.
[43] Excited.
[44] Overwhelmingly excited, fired up, bursting with vitality.
[45] A young, energetic, frothing surfer kid.
