Bi, lesbian, femme, butch, Cancer, Libra. What do these labels really tell you about a person? And is your chosen label invalidated when you deviate from its traditional meaning at any point in your personal evolution? With every trip I take around the sun, I’m finding there are fewer labels I can connect with — my current exceptions being that I’m a human named Carmen, and I’m sapphically inclined.

I had updated my label from bi to lesbian when I first visited Provincetown in 2019. It was my day off and the Saturday of MEMDay weekend — a women’s festival, so to speak. Imagine, that first perfect sunny day of the summer coinciding with the sudden appearance of a gorgeous variety of newly sun-kissed faces and flirtatious smiles inviting you to an afternoon of sapphic poolside shenanigans. Having never been in a place where 99 percent of the people around me identified as female, I was in awe.

My girlfriend and I met Lynette Molnar that weekend. When she pulled up a couple of lounge chairs for us, poolside at the Crown & Anchor, we felt like celesbians. She’s an organizer of Girl Splash, which this year starts July 24, another special time for those of us under the sapphicially inclined umbrella. It’s an umbrella that has been expanding to shelter a new generation of label-free humans who simply want to explore, live, and love — and maybe enjoy an occasional craft cocktail together.

I consider myself more of a wine nerd than a mixologist. But there are certain cocktails I take pride in making well. The Jungle Bird is a 1970s cocktail (rum, pineapple juice, and Campari) I perfected to impress my bartender friends; the Vesper (James Bond’s gin, vodka, and Lillet drink) I enjoy with a steak on occasion; but the margarita is my favorite all summer long.

This one was created by one of my dearest friends, Miguel Parra, who was the lead bartender — no, mixologist — at Pepe’s Wharf back in 2019. When he was in town over the weekend of Cinco de Mayo this spring, we got together with our mutual friends around a backyard firepit, and an evening of those intimate conversations that come from sharing a cigarette with a stranger ensued. Stories of what brought us all here to Provincetown began to flow freely alongside Miguel’s hibiscus margaritas.

The first step in making them is to steep dried hibiscus flowers. I use the loose hibiscus tea found at Atlantic Spice Co. in Truro. Throw a handful of the petals into a pitcher with three cups of hot water and let them steep for about four to five minutes maximum, then strain them off.

I like a blanco tequila for a base with a bit of complexity. La Gritona is made by a female-owned distillery, and their blanco tastes more like an añejo, so it’s perfect for mixing or sipping.

For a quick homemade sour mix I use fresh limes and either agave or sugar. To be ready for a party’s worth of these margaritas, squeeze two and a half cups of lime juice, add a quarter cup of sugar, and stir to dissolve — you can sweeten further to taste.

As you make a pitcher of these margaritas during Girl Splash, I would encourage you to open yourself up to a little vulnerability and tell the people around your firepit what makes this town special for you.

GIRL SPLASH HIBISCUS MARGARITA
Makes one cocktail

2 ounces tequila (La Gritona)
1 ounce triple sec (Cointreau)
1 ounce sour mix
1 ounce hibiscus tea
Lime or dehydrated orange slice as a garnish

Shake together all ingredients. Rim one quarter of a 6- to 8-ounce rocks glass with crunchy sea salt or black lava sea salt and pour cocktail into the glass over rocks. Garnish with a dehydrated blood orange or lime slice.