Alone No Longer
To the editor:
When I read K.C. Myers’s story about domestic violence [April 30, page 4], I thought to send mine to you.
I was sexually and physically abused repeatedly by a family member when I was six years old. This man was highly respected in the community, a war hero. It was unthinkable that I would tell anyone. I was convinced I had done something to deserve it. I tried to be good, received good grades, became an accomplished athlete, class president, Eagle Scout.
I was terrified someone would find out. I suffered nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and constantly thought of suicide. Turning to drugs and alcohol to relieve these symptoms probably saved my life — until they started killing me.
It took almost 20 years to fight my way out of addiction. Only then was I able to begin recovering from the abuse. I was married, a father, a home owner, business owner, and active member of the community, but had the life skills of a 14-year-old. Holding a life together in those circumstances is exhausting, lonely, and paralyzing. The stigma was killing me.
Hard work and the loving help of family, friends, a good therapist, and support groups have saved my life. Still, the damage done by the abuse has penetrated every facet of my life. Though their severity has eased, the nightmares and insomnia continue, as do bouts of anxiety and depression.
I am far from alone in this. Most victims don’t talk, don’t get help, and continue to suffer. We all pay for this through criminal justice and health care costs.
If you need help, find a way to ask. Children’s Cove and Independence House are two good resources. There is an amazing community of abuse survivors here on the Cape. You don’t need to feel alone any longer.
Thomas Thompsen
Eastham
The Ease of Second Guessing
To the editor:
Your April 30 edition reported discussion in Wellfleet of the possibility of a significant reduction in beach capacity for the approaching summer. The select board, at its last meeting, discussed a variety of difficult issues arising from the novel coronavirus and made decisions that some strongly disagree with.
Making accurate predictions is difficult. The health care and business communities, police and fire-rescue departments, full-time and summer residents, short-term renters and tourists have competing interests.
We should appreciate the complexities of making and enforcing change. Some habits and traditions we have developed over many years may not be possible this year. It is easy to second guess when the critic bears no responsibility for decisions made or not made.
I hope that the Wellfleet community is able to exercise patience, good humor, and civility during these difficult times. We should abide by and support the decisions made by the select board, Suzanne Grout Thomas, the police dept., the fire and rescue dept., beach and recreation depts., and all other municipal departments and employees. Those charged with enacting and enforcing the changes we are to face are doing their best to ensure the health and safety of those of us who love Wellfleet in whatever capacity we find ourselves here.
Wil Sullivan
Wellfleet
