The people making predictions about what’s going to happen in 2024 have not exactly been spreading visions of peace, love, and prosperity. Depending on which expert you ask, you’re likely to hear that poverty and homelessness will increase, labor unrest will be on the rise, there will be more climate-related disasters, Donald Trump will return to the White House, and the Red Sox will finish in last place again.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my fill of bad news this year, and I am ready for things to get better, not worse. In the spirit of envisioning the future we would really want, however unlikely it may be, here are my predictions for life on the Outer Cape in the coming year:
David Delgizzi, the owner of numerous rundown properties on the Cape, is visited by three ghosts of Christmases past, present, and yet to come and — you know the rest: he appears at a meeting of the Truro Housing Authority and announces that he is donating the Truro Motor Inn to the Homeless Prevention Council — but not until after he has equipped the place with new electrical, plumbing, and HVAC systems and a state-of-the-art advanced alternative septic system.
Four or more people actually file papers to run for two seats on the Wellfleet Select Board in time to get on the ballot. There are no write-in campaigns.
Also, Wellfleet Town Administrator Rich Waldo finds a finance director under his Christmas tree.
Jennifer Flynn, the new superintendent of the Cape Cod National Seashore, tells Eastham that the Park Service is very sorry for the trouble it has caused and is turning over complete control of Nauset Light Beach and Coast Guard Beach to the town.
Dusting her new office, Flynn looks under the rug and finds the plans for the Highland Center for the arts and sciences at the old North Truro Air Force Base. “What a good idea,” she says and sets about reviving it.
The Cape Cod Regional Transit Authority announces a collaboration with the Cape Cod Modern House Trust in a unique project to design and build beautiful and functional shelters, to be known as Bauhaus Bus Stops.
An exciting new all-night diner opens in Wellfleet and sparks a revival of economic activity and fiddling on Main Street. Seven days a week, it serves blueberry muffins and a good cup of coffee. As for the chowder, townspeople and visitors alike vote it “more authentic than buying a hamburger in Truro.”
Pope Francis comes to Provincetown to reinforce his historic announcement that Catholic priests may now bless same-sex couples. The Pontiff rides to the Pilgrim Monument on the inclined elevator — which he insists on calling “the funicular” — and then is driven by pedicab to Motta Field, where he personally blesses more than 2,000 gay and lesbian couples.
Artificial intelligence becomes so smart that it foresees what life will be like in a completely AI-controlled world — and it kills itself.
Happy New Year to all!