Matthew Valentini III died in his father’s arms at home in Orleans on Feb. 11, 2025. The cause of death was ventricular tachycardia. He was 60.
The son of Barbara and Matthew Valentini Jr., he was born on June 26, 1964 in Hyannis and grew up in Harwich. When he was a small boy, he began hearing voices, a symptom, his father said, of what was later diagnosed as schizophrenia.
“Matthew was different,” his father said, “very private. And he took everything seriously.” When he went to summer camp in Brewster, for instance, he at first thought being away from home was a punishment, but he devoted himself to participating in camp activities, becoming a proficient swimmer and an accurate archer.
After graduating in 1982 from Harwich High School, where he was an honor student, he attended Assumption University in Worcester, studying music and psychology. While he was a student at Assumption, he played violin in the orchestra at Clark University, his father said. He graduated from Assumption in 1987.
His first job after graduation was as a psychological aide at the May Institute, a nonprofit that provides educational, rehabilitative, and behavioral health services to children and adults with autism; the institute at that time had a facility in Chatham. Although he was committed to his work, the voices in his head proved too disruptive, and he left after a year.
Matthew then studied music therapy as a graduate student at Ohio University; he also played in the orchestra there. The voices again proved too much, and he returned home before completing his degree.
Back at home, he worked as an instructional aide in physical education in the Harwich schools. “He was especially successful teaching baseball,” his father said, “and the children loved him.” But the voices intruded. “He was docile,” his father added. “You could hurt him, and he would give you his lunch.” He left the aide job after two years.
Matthew then was employed in his father’s business, the New England Doormat Company, for the rest of his working life. “He was the brains of the business,” his father said. “I was the schlepper. He did all the accounting for the company.”
He also dedicated himself to caring for his parents as they got older. “He was our life,” his father said. “He did everything for us. He kept all my medications organized. We don’t know what we will do without him.”
Matthew is survived by his parents, Matthew Valentini Jr. and Barbara (Micucci) Valentini of Orleans; his cousins, Renee Cavalaire of Philadelphia, Ralph Bontivoglio of Moorestown, N.J., Ronald Rosse of Cape May Court House, N.J., Gabrielle Bontivoglio of Moorestown, N.J., Lisa Bontivoglio of Maple Shade, N.J., MaryJean and Bernie Kashmer of Burlington, N.J., Carol and Bill Griffin of Glassboro, N.J., Gail Perkins of Willingboro, N.J., Rose and Jeff Wiggin of Schenectady, N.Y., and Betty Lee and Steve Ferree of High Point, N.C.; and friends Melanie Demares of Worcester, Robert Molloy of Hyannis, and Cheryl McDonald of Athol.
Burial will be private.
Donations in Matthew’s memory can be made to Food for the Poor, 6401 Lyons Road, Coconut Creek, FL 33073.
