Barbara Elizabeth Knapp of Eastham, who was branch manager of the Cape Cod 5 Bank in Wellfleet, died in hospice care in Milton on July 14, 2024 after an 18-year struggle with cancer. She was 71.
The daughter of Elinore (Lenihan) and Harry Knapp, Barbara was born on June 14, 1953 in Westfield, where she grew up. Her daughter, Amanda, said that Barbara was a wild child, in contrast to her bookish sister, Judy. She had a genius for friendship, maintaining close ties through life with friends she made in elementary school. “Her friends were like her family,” Amanda said.
The family had a summer house in Eastham, and when she was old enough, Barbara worked at the Pizza Barn. Later she settled in the Eastham home year-round.
After graduating from Westfield High School in 1971, Barbara attended Green Mountain College for two years and then Wheaton College, her wild streak intact. She once had to request money from home to pay for her dorm hallway floors to be refinished after she and a friend had created a slip-and-slide on them. She was, nonetheless, a good student, graduating magna cum laude with a B.A. in psychology in 1975.
She had planned to become a teacher off-Cape, but with no teaching jobs available, she decided to move to the Cape full-time. One evening in the summer of 1975, Barbara and her friends went dancing at Piggy’s in Provincetown. There she met Joseph Carreiro, who asked her to dance. They married in 1976 and settled in Provincetown. The marriage ended after 20 years.
Barbara started in the mortgage servicing department at Cape Cod 5 and in short order worked her way up to branch manager. Her co-worker Barbara Matteson said that “at that time, branch managers were lenders as well, and when mortgage lending became more specialized and regulated, many gave up that responsibility, but not Barbara.”
In 1999 she was promoted to vice president. “The knowledge and tenacity she brought to the position were hallmarks of her career at the bank,” Matteson said.
Barbara had great empathy for her clients. “She would get to know them,” Amanda said, “and even if they did not look the best on paper, she would figure out a way to get them a mortgage.” Many would not have gotten their homes without her, and years later, Matteson said, “customers she assisted in buying their homes still looked to Barbara when in need.” She retired in 2018.
“She was strict and very giving,” said Amanda. “She was never harsh, and she never judged. We were more than mother and daughter; we were best friends.”
In 2006, Barbara was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer, which has a 10-year survival rate of 3.5 percent for women. “My mother was not supposed to be here when my children were born,” Amanda said, but Barbara beat the odds, witnessed the birth of grandson Declan, and met granddaughter Kennedy. Her grandchildren called her Coco, after a Disney character.
Barbara had an especially close group of friends who got together regularly in Chatham. After one member of the group died and the others were on a trip to Stowe, Vt., a dragonfly landed near them, which they took as a sign that their friend was somehow still with them. From then on, they referred to themselves as the dragonfly ladies.
In addition to enjoying the beach, travel, theater, and music, Barbara donated her time and money to charitable organizations including Helping Our Women, the American Cancer Society, and the Care Team at the First Congregational Church in Wellfleet. She was a member of the Provincetown Chamber of Commerce for 20 years.
After a new diagnosis of endometrial cancer, Barbara showed great strength, resilience, courage, and hope, even on her most difficult days. She was grateful to the cancer specialists and cardiologists at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for providing extraordinary care.
One of her nurses, Olivia Berler, wrote in an online remembrance: “In the days I had the privilege of caring for Barbara, she was such a light to be around. She became part of my ‘why’ for showing up to work, and truly showed me what being a nurse is all about.”
Barbara always wore a dragonfly pin. “Before her discharge,” Olivia wrote, “Barbara looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Whenever you see a dragonfly, think of me.’ ” Amanda reports that since Barbara’s death a blue dragonfly has been a daily visitor at her home.
Barbara is survived by daughter Amanda (Carreiro) White and husband Robbie of Norwell; grandchildren Declan and Kennedy White of Norwell; sister Judith (Knapp) Crocker and husband Richard of Burlington, Vt.; nephew Benjamin Crocker and wife Susan of Springfield, Mo.; stepdaughter Jodi (Carreiro) Burns and husband Charlie of Port St. Lucie, Fla.; and stepson Justin Carreiro of Port St. Lucie. She is also survived by many friends who she considered family and by her loving dog, Chance.
A celebration of Barbara’s life will take place at 2 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 13 at the First Congregational Church at 200 Main St., Wellfleet.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Barbara’s memory can be made to Helping Our Women in Provincetown, the Animal Rescue League of Brewster, or the oncology department at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. For online condolences, visit nickersonfunerals.com.
