John Francis Wilder died at his home in Provincetown on May 9, 2023. He was 53.
Born in Worcester, John was the son of the late Carol Ann and John A. Wilder. In 1994 he moved to Provincetown to work as a houseboy and at Fat Jack’s as a dishwasher before his disability led to his retirement.
“He was generous to a fault,” wrote his friends Dan McFadden and Jim Keefe. “If he felt someone was more in need than he, he would try to help that person to the best of his ability, and at his own self-sacrifice.”
John loved karaoke at the Governor Bradford and meeting his friends around town, especially on the benches in front of town hall — a place where he was recognized and appreciated by those he encountered. He was also a great caregiver to his cats.
John leaves a sister, Marlene D. Wilder, currently living in India, and his friend and caregiver Dan McFadden of Provincetown. He was predeceased by a brother, Michael O. Wilder, as well as by his parents.
A memorial service will be held at St. Mary of the Harbor Episcopal Church, 517 Commercial St., Provincetown, at 11 a.m. on Saturday, June 10. John, a long-time parishioner who was baptized and confirmed at St. Mary’s, is loved and remembered by the congregation for his kindness and gentleness, as well as for an innocence that was never diminished by his life’s struggles. The committal of a portion of his ashes in the garden and a reception in the church hall will follow the service. All are welcome to come and say goodbye to John.
Memorial donations in John’s name may be made to the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod, Box 1522, Provincetown 02657; the Soup Kitchen in Provincetown, Box 538, Provincetown 02657; or the National Alliance on Mental Illness of Cape Cod & The Islands, 5 Mark Lane, Hyannis 02601.
