Cheers, community, from the Lower Cape Outdoor Winter Activities Council! Oh, what a year we’ve wassailed! We hope your holidays were abundant, yet realistic, and that you rejoiced in a peaceful New Year’s Day (formerly known as drunk brunch).
We understand that you’ll be tempted to get carried away during this homicidally-dark-at-3:30-pandemic-meets-flu-season winter of 2021. Who wouldn’t want to have 40 percent of their phone contacts over for a fondue party in their newly finished basement? (Smoked gouda has a lovely melt.) And kudos to you for inviting the UPS driver into your sauna to discuss your sourdough starter, but he’s not yet vaccinated, and, for that matter, neither are you.
To assist you and your family’s engagement in fun, yet safe, winter activities on the Outer Cape, we’ve attached a dynamic list below. Mask up and enjoy! And if you’d like to add any suggestions to the list, please feel free to comment on the Lower Cape Outdoor Winter Activities Council vlog!
- Walking in the woods. Wear layers. If you hit the ocean, bang a uey. If you hit the bay, same instructions apply. Do don your reflective gear to avoid stray bullets. No need to get mistaken for woodland game. (My neighbor’s hat looks awfully like an opossum.) If you’re gone for hours and need to text your teenager to take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner, you won’t have mobile phone reception, so plan accordingly.
- Walking in town. Same as above, but bring your to-go mug and grab a hot chocolate from wherever you see a light on. This could be a private home. Folks are so lonely that in all likelihood they will make you a hot chocolate if you ask. Just wait outside in their yard while they prepare the goods. Do scream politely through their window that you would prefer mini marshmallows.
- Walking on the ocean. Exit your vehicle. Walk to the edge of the dune and aim your face in the direction of the piercing sand ricocheting off your forehead. Stroll in that direction first so that the walk back to your vehicle is less intolerable.
- Walking around a pond. The Council’s favorite! What’s more beautiful than a kettle pond? Just walk around the pond until you are back to where you started. If you have walking companions, ask them not to speak so that you can hear the birds. If you are walking with a dog, carry the dog in your arms for warmth. That northwesterly breeze on the trails creates quite a wind tunnel! Follow same rules as #1.
- Walking in your house. Save this activity for significant winter weather events, such as blizzards, black ice, bomb cyclones, sleet-outs, ice thunder, horizontal deluges, or regional power outages lasting more than five consecutive business days. Note if you have spoken to anyone out loud today. Don’t think about that. Just put on your joggers. Walk from room to room, or, back and forth in your bedroom if you have roommates, or PMS. Hold a can of tomato soup in each hand so that it’s exercise. Ignore the cat hair mountains on the floor. Remember, this winter it’s just one foot in front of the other!
Be well. Warmest regards, —LCOWAC