This Year’s Pie Fest Bests the Rest

Downstairs at the Commons, three celebrity judges and two hosts eyed 14 slices of pie. One slice was naught more than a sliver; another bulged precariously. One spilled meat and vegetables from its scanty crust.

It was Nov.10, the third annual Pie Fest — a community warm-up for pie season and a fundraiser for the Provincetown Commons. The judges were preparing for the tasting round of the pie contest. Minutes before, they had completed the beauty round: Dollops of mashed potato delighted; one pie topping swirled like the sky in Van Gogh’s Starry Night; another was sadly sunken; one resembled the gaping mouth of a Demogorgon, or as host Delta Miles pointed out, “a face snatcher from Alien.”

The people passing judgment here were pretty much pie professionals: Kelly Fields, who is the chef at Butch’s at the Crown & Anchor, was the James Beard Outstanding Pastry Chef in 2019 and wrote The Good Book of Southern Baking. Then there were past champions: artist Naya Bricher, who won the top prize in 2022, and last year’s winner, Bagel Hound co-founder Claire Adams.

The judges would decide on three winners among the 14 pies submitted by local bakers, considering appearance, taste, crust, filling, and originality. One pie would win a special prize for best pairing with this year’s selected wine, a sparkling white delivered to the room by cook, writer, and Commons board member Rebecca Orchant.

After all that, comedian Kristen Becker would auction them off to the crowd, with the whole scene emceed by drag queen Miles.

Now, armed with plastic forks, the judges set about the tasting.

Afterward, there was pie to be eaten at $5 per slice. Each pie submitted for judging had a twin, which volunteers sliced to sell, and there were pies by other local bakers, too. Pie Fest hats, tea towels, and tote bags were for sale. DJ Potato Salad spun tunes in the corner, the line for pie and drinks was long, and the people were merry and rosy-cheeked from the chill.

There were pies to be raffled off, too. Chris Morgan from Provincetown was stalled at the raffle table, contemplating a Canadian meat pie made by Commons executive director Lesley Marchessault alongside Bricher’s pistachio mascarpone pie, Fields’s chocolate bourbon pecan pie, and the chicken pot pie Adams made from the recipe that won last year’s contest and went for $725 at auction.

Dangling from Morgan’s hands were $100 worth of raffle tickets. “That chicken pot pie would last me all week,” he said.

Nearby, artist Beth Faherty and producer Aaron “Tangle” Clayton were eating pie cross-legged on the cold, hard sidewalk. The recent presidential election was on their minds. Faherty, who has a studio at the Commons, described the feeling as a constant state of free fall interrupted by an inescapable sensation of sinking in place.

“Let’s get each other out of it,” Clayton recalled telling Faherty. He took her to Pie Fest. “The spirit here helps,” he said. The only way through is forward, they both agreed.

The time had come for Zoë Lewis to perform a song from her 1998 album Sheep. The crowd gathered around the front steps of the former schoolhouse as Lewis took the stage to sing “Pies for the Public,” which she said was inspired by a Provincetown local named Charlotte Motta whom Lewis had met a long time ago. “Charlotte made pies and sold them to the fishermen in Provincetown during the Depression,” she said. “Pies got her through the Depression and pies will get us through this.”

“Really,” said Lewis, “it’s a song about community.”

It was a sing-along. The crowd shouted out the names of the different pies that Charlotte made, guided by Sharon Topper in a white baker’s hat, who pointed to the lyrics on paper with a wooden spoon: Blackberry pie! Chicken pie! Pumpkin pie! Real lemon pie! Clam pie! HUH! That last syllable was uttered with special gusto, as if the crowd craved wordless expression.

Then Miles, in a fanciful faux-fur coat and a baby-pink beret, took center stage. “It’s great to see this entire community out here today eating pie and celebrating some real, simple joy in these crazy times,” she said. “But enough about that,” and it was on to the auction.

The pies were presented: two “perfect” apple pies — “This is how they divide us,” said Becker, stepping into the auctioneer job. A carrot cake custard pie was “a pie full of potential”; there was a pie that was “bright and fresh”; one that was “very well balanced”; and a few with “gorgeous fillings.”

The three judges delivered their verdicts: Greg Berkle’s Thanksgiving Leftover Pie (with cranberry sauce on the side) won the prize for best pairing with the bubbly. Artist Jenny Humphreys’s coconut cream pie and Pop+Dutch co-owner Sean Gardner’s blackberry pie cast aside the yoke of third place and tied for second.

First place was awarded to recent washashore Brad Drummond for his peanut butter banana cream pie, made with a Nutter Butter crust, layers of peanut butter, sliced bananas, and vanilla-rum banana cream, topped with puffs of toasted marshmallow meringue.

Drummond said he never expected to win. He likes to cook, but he’s not a baker. The recipe is his own, he said, inspired by an encounter with another peanut butter banana cream pie years ago. “I thought, ‘I can make that, and I think I can make it better.’ ”

Would he share his recipe? “No,” Drummond said. “If you want to taste the recipe,” he said, “you’ll have to come over for dinner.”

The auction began in earnest. “Roll up your sleeves so you can get into your pockets better,” began Becker. Last year the festival raised $10,000 for the Commons, she told the crowd. Their duty was to beat that number.

Gardner’s blackberry pie went to Jill and Jane Rothenberg-Simmons for $150. Someone raised a hand to wave to a friend across the courtyard, and Becker pounced: “Don’t wave at an auction! I’m gonna sell you a pie.”

The Thanksgiving leftover pie sold for $500. “We’re not playing around anymore,” said Becker. Chad Jacobs bought the coconut cream pie for $650. Two pies were sold to a group of neighbors gathered across the street who preferred to bid from far away.

Last year, the winning pie went for $725. This year, Scott Squillace bought Drummond’s champion pie for $800.

Becker told the crowd she had heard the judges at work: there was “not a bad pie in the bunch.” There may have been some duds last year, she said. “But we’re moving on. We’re moving on.”

In the end, the people across the street went home with a pie from the raffle table, and Morgan, despite his abundance of tickets, went home empty-handed.

2nd PLACE:

JENNY HUMPHREYS’S COCONUT CREAM PIE WITH A SANDIE CRUST
Makes one 9-inch pie 

For the crust

1 package Sandie cookies (formerly Pecan Sandies)
½ stick butter, melted

1. Preheat oven to 350° F. Pulse the cookies in a food processor to make fine crumbs or crush them with a rolling pin.
2. Combine crumbs with the melted butter and press into a pie pan.
3. Bake 15 or more minutes until golden. Set aside to cool.

For the filling

2/3 cup sugar
¼ cup cornstarch
½ tsp. salt
½ cup cold milk
4 egg yolks (save the whites for the meringue)
1½ cups hot milk
½ tsp. vanilla
2 Tbsp. butter

1. In a double boiler on the stovetop, combine sugar, cornstarch, salt, and cold milk.
2. Whisk in egg yolks. Then, gradually whisk in the hot milk.
3. Cook the custard over a pan of simmering water, stirring constantly until thickened and smooth. The filling will not thicken further after it cools, so be patient, even if your arm gets tired.
4. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla and butter. Set aside to cool.

For the meringue

¼ tsp. cream of tartar
4 reserved egg whites
¼ cup sugar

1. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until frothy.
2. Continue beating, adding sugar and increasing the speed until soft peaks are formed.

For assembling the pie

1 cup plus a little more shredded coconut

1. Fold a heaping cup of coconut into the cream filling and spread the filling in the prepared shell.
2. Carefully spread the meringue over the cream filling, making sure to touch the meringue to the edges to prevent shrinkage. Sprinkle more coconut liberally on top of meringue.
3. Bake at 350° F for 12 to 18 minutes until pie is toasted on top. Allow to cool before slicing.

2nd PLACE:

SEAN GARDNER’S BLACKBERRY PIE
Makes one 9-inch pie 

Pie dough for top and bottom crust (Sean’s is homemade)
4 6-ounce boxes of blackberries
2-3 Tbsp. sugar, to taste
Lemon and lime zest, about 1 tsp.
1 heaping tsp. cornstarch
1 to 2 Tbsp. butter
1 beaten egg, for brushing the crust
Sugar to sprinkle on crust

1. Prepare top and bottom crusts using your favorite pie dough recipe and chill while you prepare the filling.
2. Toss the blackberries with 2-3 tablespoons of sugar to taste and the lemon and lime zest; let sit for a few hours at room temperature.
3. Stir the cornstarch into the blackberry mixture.
4. Roll out the bottom crust and place in a pie pan. Poke a few fork holes in the bottom crust before filling with berries. Cut the butter into small chunks and distribute them among the berries.
5. Place the second round of dough on top (Sean made a lattice for his prize winner). Brush the crust with an egg wash and dust with sugar.
6. Chill the assembled pie for as long as your patience allows before baking. The crimps and smaller details will hold up better if it’s well chilled. Bake at 375° F for 60 to 80 minutes, checking to see that the bottom is cooked and not a raw disappointment that will make your friends sad.