Rosemary Spagnolo Murrman of Eastham died at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston on June 3, 2023 after suffering a stroke at home. She was 78.
Rosemary was born in Waterbury, Conn. on Jan. 26, 1945, the second of four children of the late Rosemary and Adrian Spagnolo. Through her father’s second marriage, she found herself the oldest sister in a family of nine, living in the Bucks Hill housing project in Waterbury.
“My grandmother and Rose, my grandfather’s second wife, worked to forge the blended family,” Rosemary’s niece A.J. O’Connell said, “which at midcentury wasn’t easy.” The stepsiblings became very close, and they learned to shoulder responsibility. “All the kids paid rent when they got jobs,” A.J. said.
After graduating from Crosby High School, Rosemary worked as a telephone operator in the 1960s, her brother Ed Spagnolo said, but she really wanted to learn histology and work at Waterbury Hospital. “Despite her shyness,” Ed said, “she managed to convince the boss, Mary-Claire, who later became her mentor and friend, to hire her.”
Rosemary worked at the hospital for more than 30 years, taking classes at the University of Bridgeport. She became a supervisor, and during the early years of the AIDS epidemic, when the disease was little understood, Rosemary led her team by example, analyzing samples from the hospital’s first AIDS patient herself.
Rosemary lived at home until she was in her 30s, and she didn’t marry until late in life. She had “a strong circle of female friends,” A.J. said, and “she showed me and my female cousins early on what being successful and single could look like.”
Even though “Rosemary wasn’t that close with her dad,” A.J. added, “when he was dying of lung cancer in 1980, she took charge of navigating the health-care system for him. She was proud of being able to do that.”
In 1993, Rosemary and one of her best friends bought “a tiny cottage in Eastham with turquoise shutters,” A.J. said. Rosemary loved the place. So did A.J., who was invited to spend a week with her as a graduation gift.
Rosemary moved to Eastham permanently after retiring in 2007. It was there she met Richard Murrman, whom she married in 2010. The couple enjoyed kayaking, cruises, and visiting national parks. An enthusiastic traveler, Rosemary visited Europe, Israel, and Alaska; her favorite destination was Ireland.
Rosemary was devoted to her work at the thrift shop of the Friends of Eastham Council on Aging. She spent more than 15 years there, curating the shop’s jewelry. During the pandemic lockdown, she ran the shop’s social media, putting her lifelong love of photography to use and keeping the store in business.
Rosemary happily hosted family and friends on the Cape. When niece Katie lost her mother, Rosemary stepped in to help raise her. A quilter and seamstress, Rosemary often gave handmade gifts to loved ones. She had many close friends from childhood, work, and her years on the Cape.
Rosemary’s brother Ed “calls my aunt ‘shy,’ ” A.J. said, “but inside the family she was very much the opposite.” Niece Nancy Spagnolo said that “she lived life in the superlative.”
Rosemary leaves her brother Edward of Bethany, Conn., sister Betsy of Oakville, Conn., brother Richard of Biddeford, Maine, sister Margaret of Bristol, Conn., brother Adrian of Bristol, Conn., sister Bonnie of Bristol, Conn. and sister Mary of Terryville, Conn. She also leaves several nieces and nephews: Ann of North Granby, Conn., Christopher of Bristol, Conn., Nancy of Bethany, Conn., Daniel Jr. of New Britain, Conn., Jennifer of New Britain, Conn., Katie of Boston, and Katie of Biddeford, Maine; and many godchildren as well as numerous grandnieces and grandnephews.
She was predeceased by her husband, Dick, who died on May 30, 2022, and by a niece, Sarah.
A burial service will be held at 2 p.m. on Tuesday, July 11 at the Evergreen Cemetery on Route 6 in Eastham. A memorial gathering will follow at the Eastham Senior Center, 1405 Nauset Road.
In lieu of flowers, donations may go to the Friends of Eastham Council on Aging, Box 1203, North Eastham 02651.
