Provincetown: Six Williams-Sonoma loaf pans, gently used; one 50-lb. bag of Sir Galahad Artisan Flour; and a 32-oz. bottle of commercial-grade vanilla extract. All items available for $35. Buyer may also inquire on 87 lbs. frozen ripe bananas at no extra charge. Pick up only.
Provincetown: Yamaha Arius Digital Piano in Rosewood. Piano purchased in April 2020. In mint condition. Truly. Barely touched. In May 2020, my boyfriend learned how to play When the Saints Go Marching In, and that’s all he’s got. I can’t unhear that song. Neither can any of our neighbors on Banks Street; sorry, Pam and Roxy! I’m not allowed to mention how much he spent on it (a lot), but asking only $550 or best offer. We will deliver.
Truro: Hola! Ni Hao! That’s as far as this seller got. Eager to learn Spanish and Mandarin? Complete beginner’s box sets available. DVDs produced by the reputable Rosetta Stone. (Spanish box set has never been opened, plastic seal intact. Was used only as an absinthe coaster.) Owner happy to ship, or willing to gently toss onto your property. $90 o/b/o. Sets NOT sold separately.
Truro: FREE goats! Three female Nigerian Dwarfs available. Goats come with a 100-lb. bag of goat mineral, 400 lbs. of goat roughage, and a 4-quart galvanized scoop. The goats are over a year old and are impressive milk producers. You’ll have goat cheese ready before you know it! Goats and accessories are FREE of charge. Goats can be dropped off on your land at a moment’s notice. These goats look amazing in photographs you’ll soon be posting on Facebook. Do include #YOLO, #goatyoga, and #hayngoatpoopgalore.
Eastham: Large sack of puzzles, $20. Some are missing a piece or two. One is of a stunning coral reef — the details! Another is of geese in formation over a Swedish forest. 1000 pieces each (approx.). The geese section is pretty easy going, but we never completed the forest. So many shades of green? Actually, we were supposed to be in Stockholm last May for our niece’s wedding, but alas. Incidentally, we’ve started a go-fund-me page as we weren’t fully reimbursed for our plane tickets and hoping to get to Sweden in 2022 or 2023. Any amount helps!
Eastham: Adjustable ring light. This light makes you look like you are a living, breathing, RETROdust Instagram filter. Even at 6:30 a.m., the only slot your therapist will give you. He frequently nods off. Are my troubles not captivating? They feel significant at 4 a.m. when I can’t go back to sleep because I have to “be more present” with him by the break of day. For five additional dollars I’ll throw in my MacBook Pro. Just take it! I’m done with screens. Free, or donate to something. I don’t care anymore.
Wellfleet: Two ferrets for sale! $85 for the brother-sister pair. My son returned to middle school and promptly neglected his pets. I promised I’d make sure the buyer kept the ferrets’ names, Yeet and Stan. No idea which is which. I’m not sure my son does either. We bought him the ferrets for Christmas, and by New Year’s, their cage smelled like durian fruit. The cage has two platforms, and a ferret hammock on the top floor. Search for the hidden key at our house on Holbrook Avenue, it’s the white one with the black shutters. I’ll tell him the ferrets were stolen. He’ll never know.